Closure

I may  have been putting off this final post because I was afraid to revisit this ordeal. I may have been too busy, or I may have been surrounded by friends and family who helped us not dwell and obsess over what we went though. Maybe my brain, heart and soul needed a break. Regardless, it has been 1 year 5 months and 2 weeks since the last post. I had been asked by several readers what was the outcome of all of this. I apologize for it taking so long, but here it is...

Once we received word on getting to come back home to the mainland, we felt as if a weight had been lifted. We were so excited and relieved to come back to a place we could feel safe. We went through so much in Hawaii. (That which left scars both mentally and physically.) We made it home to the mainland November 15, 2014. There was an instant sigh of relief once the plane landed.

We stayed busy looking for a house, and waiting on household goods the first few weeks. Just before Christmas a snag arose, where my husband was told he was up for a review that could potentially have him discharged from the military without benefits or any retirement options. We were terrified once again! We weren't even officially signed into the new Unit! A few phone calls later and the review was able to be pushed back to the next quarter. Enough time to be under the new command and get all his ducks in a row. He was able to find out what, when and why of the review, and what options he would or would not have.

Our optimism from returning home wavered. It once again was like a roller coaster of emotions. At least this time the highs and lows were spaced farther apart. At least this time we were closer to friends and family.

Once the review board date came and handed down the decision, it was another weight lifted. The decision was forced retirement at 20 years. Meaning, even if my husband wanted to do more than 20 years, he could not. He still retires with his benefits/pay. This was good news. I know some people wouldn't say it is, but for us it was wonderful. There was no more guessing of what was going to happen. No more wondering how long will we be in the military. It was decided for us.

With that, my husband found peace and a path to focus on. He is finishing a Master's degree while we wait for the retirement date to arrive. October 31st, 2017 will be his retirement date. The days of resentment and depression are waning. We have more days that are full of happiness than sadness. I do believe time heals all wounds. The further we get from "Hawaii" the more it feels like a bad dream.

The aftermath we deal with now, is staying healthy and on top of his post surgical issues. A lot happens when a large chunk of your colon is removed. It's a process, but we are getting through it.

Looking back, it feels like a lifetime ago. It hasn't even been 2 years. We survived it best we could. The most important thing now is enjoying what we have. We are fortunate. We are better than we were before this ordeal. That is what counts.

Thank you to everyone who shared this blog, or reached out to us and shared your similar experience. It was comforting to know we weren't the only ones. I hope on some level when people come across this blog it lets them know they are not alone as well.

Our Journey Continues

This has been an emotionally hard journey for us. When I started this blog, it was to vent and hopefully get the word out about toxic leadership at Tripler. I had no idea it would have turned into such a daunting battle. I am so fortunate to have supportive family and friends.  Especially my mother-in-law who is just as enraged as I am about this situation. (A Mother's Letter to the General)

My husband, who has served in the Marines and then the Army, will have 17 years of active duty service come October 2014. He has dedicated his life to serving his country. He had a plan to progress from Special Forces Army Medic to a Physician Assistant (PA). This was the most logical step, being that he loved medicine, and he loved caring for his soldiers. He had hoped to go back to SF someday as a PA, before planning on retiring. He also thought being a PA as a civilian, once retired from the military, would be a great way to support our family. 

*He loved, he hoped, he planned. 

This journey has brought pain, confusion, doubt, tears, rage, disappointment and awareness to my husband and myself. My husband and I learned that not all sections of the military are created equal. Where you find reasonable people in one place, you may not in another. Had we known the personality conflicts would be this great we never would have decided to go the “PA route”. We would have understood that AMEDD is a place not suited for some personalities. A person who is a leader, strong willed, not afraid to stand up for what is right, not afraid to face the enemy, (someone with a dominating personality perhaps?), will most likely not survive this area of the Army.

Life is about learning from mistakes. Life is also about standing up for what is right. 

My husband made a mistake. His punishment DOES NOT fit the “crime”. A permanent GOMOR is way beyond the level of punishment my husband deserved. Yet, a General saw fit to issue one. A General who refused to meet with my husband before he made his final decision. A General who sided with a Captain holding a grudge against my husband. What this General did was wrong and the way he went about it was deplorable!

I was informed by an ExO of the AMEDD command in Ft. Sam that the IPAP directors were planning to relieve him of PA school if the GOMOR was filed permanently. (It is of their own decision and there is NO regulation stating they HAD to relieve him.) For me to get that information, I had to call this man’s office freaking out and crying like a crazy Army wife! Yes, I did. I broke. I NEEDED answers. I got them finally. 

On Sept. 11, 2014 my husband was officially told he was relieved from IPAP. He was given 3 days to appeal. We decided together not to appeal and email the school stating this. Why not appeal? Well, two reasons:

1. We know from experience their minds were made up on the decision to relieve him because of the permanent GOMOR. Appealing would only keep us under AMEDD and Tripler Command that much longer.
2. *The love, the hope, the plans have been burnt into a pile of ash now blowing in the wind. There is NO passion for medicine left within my husband. He has realized this was not the path he was meant for. 

What happens next?

We are waiting for the school to finalize his relief from the program. After which he will get orders back to SF. This is the happy part of a 2 year journey laced with toxic leadership and failed dreams. At least we can go back to a place we love, a work environment he loves and a support system that goes beyond our blood relatives. We will be with family again. He will be with brothers again. We will be home.

The fight is not over, however. There is the matter of that pesky little letter called a GOMOR. I, along with friends and family, will be on the campaign to have it rescinded. This GOMOR was, has and will always be a prime example of the toxic leadership at Tripler Army Medical Center, under that General. 

Send in the Clowns!

I am sitting here shaking my head. I still cannot understand how these people are allowed to be in the positions they are in. I can’t believe that a General has decided not only to file the GOMOR, but file it permanently! 

The General would NOT EVEN MEET WITH MY HUSBAND TO HEAR HIS SIDE! The General refused his request to a meeting! That's wrong, and goes against AR 600-20 2-2 (Open Door Policy)!!

"To the General: 
     You sir, are a COWARD. You don’t even have the nerve to look my husband in the eye and tell him what he did was worthy of a GOMOR, because you know it is a bunch of bull! 
                                         -Jamie B."

How can a General hand down a career altering decision without knowing all sides of the story? Why was the company commander supported in this decision? Why was the first GOMOR rescinded for a new one? Why is so much effort being put into punishing my husband over a piddly matter? Where was the support for my husband? 

This is absolutely despicable of the General and his command at Tripler Army Medical Center. 

After the first GOMOR was rescinded, and we saw the second, we knew what was trying to be achieved. The first GOMOR was to be filed locally, but I guess that wasn’t good enough. The General rescinded it to give a new one. (See GOMOR 2.0) At that moment, we knew they were going for a permanent filing of a GOMOR. (So, add more nonsense to a rescinded GOMOR to make a new GOMOR that can be put in a permanent file? WTF?)

The fact of the matter is my husband made a mistake and these clowns turned it into a side show circus act! One company commander with a grudge can throw you under the bus, all because she doesn’t like your opinion? I’m sorry, I thought this was America! I was under the impression we all had the right to our own opinion? It was the company commanders OPINION that my husband was disrespectful in an email. Well, it is my OPINION (and everyone else who read the email and knows the story) that he was NOT disrespectful. It’s a matter of opinion, and the only one the General saw fit to even consider was the company commanders’. Toxic, toxic, toxic!

To expedite the process of "exiting" the PA program, my husband requested to resign from the program just after official word was given on the GOMOR. The school said, "No!" The school won't let him resign and won't kick him out...what is going on??!!!  

Just give us the decision!! Allow my family closure so we can move on with our lives. 

The collusion in this chain of command is mind boggling. Is this the way of AMEDD? I for one am so happy this is all coming to an end. I would be very embarrassed to be a part of this division in the Army. It reeks of posers. It is nauseating.

Over the passed two years I have learned that AMEDDC&S, along with Tripler Army Medical Center Troop Command, is infested with cowardice, fake, weak, two-faced people riding too high on their horses. No humbleness to speak of. A bunch of peacocks running around trying to exert any power they can conjure up, displaying a false image of authority. 

I will NOT go away!!!

I believe people should stand up for what is right. I am in the right to defend myself and my family when someone tries to hurt us. I will not go away. I am determined to expose the truth about the lies, complacency, incompetence and ignorance that festers through the so called “leadership” at Tripler. 

There is one person who I want to address more than anyone since she is now aware of this blog. 

“To the woman who knows who she is, 

Aren’t you aware that you are supposed PROTECT your soldiers!?! You are not just dealing with a person in a uniform, you are dealing with his entire family. You destroyed the peace in my household by spreading your ignorance and holding a grudge. Maybe I am being a little harsh. Maybe this is the kind of “Army” you are used to, one that steps on the hearts and minds of those beneath her just to be a little closer to the top. That is NOT how the world works lady! You are supposed to take care of your own and not throw them under the bus. I feel sorry for anyone in your command. I’m sorry they have not the courage nor the gall to stand up to you and challenge your wrongful ways, visions and ideas. 

I have never met you and frankly, I don’t care to. I can only hope and pray to our Lord that you will take the time to see the destruction you have caused. I am certain my family is not the only one left floating in your wake of incompetence. I can only hope that you learn from your mistakes, fix them and make amends. You are responsible for American soldiers and all that encompasses their success. You need to start acting like a leader, and not someones well-groomed puppet. 

Jamie B.”

I’m so frustrated at the fact that the Army is allowing non-sense like this to occur over a document with an error which was submitted by my husband. A document that never should have been given to him in the first place by a civilian who was his healthcare provider and preceptor!!! A lousy piece of paper stating he was injured and could not perform a Physical Fitness Test. A test he has never missed, failed, or just done the BARE minimum. The error was fixed in 15 minutes, yet this “leader” pushed through for my husband to be formally reprimanded by the General. Her excuse? “Something had to be done.”  All command involved should be ASHAMED of themselves. I am embarrassed to be a part of this kind of Army. My husband is more than embarrassed, he is heartbroken! All he intended to do was to serve his country and take care of soldiers. They have scarred not only him, but the rest of us that know about these heinous acts. I will doubt them always. This command has proven to be the worst group of people I have ever met in my life!!

The List

I’m not shocked anymore when my husband tells me about the lies, deception, distrust and complacency he deals with at work. It’s a shame. I am used to hearing about the efforts put forth to help the soldiers, not harm them. I guess when you come from an awesome place like 5th Special Forces Group (where your heart is filled with pride on a daily basis because these men take care of their own) you become accustomed to integrity. “What do you need, and how can I help?”, might as well be the motto of the SOF community. They are always there for you when you need them. I miss that very much.

I was talking with my husband, recapping the events that have taken place. There are so many it is hard to keep it straight. This person (who I am still not naming yet), behaves like a compulsive liar. I would say almost every word he has spoken to my husband has been a lie or a [piss poor] excuse. 

The best way I can deliver this persons short comings is by listing them. If I were to explain it as a story it would be a crazy long book that would spin your head. Let’s get to listing, shall we?!

Keep in mind the job of the PA advisors are to educate, guide and advocate for the students. This individual has done the following:

• He was unable to be found at the hospital on 3 separate occasions when we first arrived to Hawaii. (My husband, who was on leave at the time, was being proactive looking for him.) This advisor finally made contact with my husband ONLY because the company contacted him to do so. During this initial contact my husband tried to ask him questions that needed to be answered, his reply was, “I don’t have time.” 
• He had failed to set up the clinical rotation schedule for the 3 new arriving IPAP students. (Other students at other sites knew there schedule before we left Ft. Sam.)
• He scheduled a time for these students to be familiarized with 2 software systems but not fully trained.  There are 4 other systems they are required to use and have NEVER been trained on. One program called DMHRSi (they pronounce it ‘dimmers eye’), is a constant issue for the students. This PA advisor has threatened to take punitive action on the students if there were anymore mistakes made on that program. (There is an email stating this by him.) He never took the time to teach the students and has in fact, admitted that he has someone else DO IT FOR HIM!!!
• He creates drama through hearsay.
• He tasks out his duties to the students. Before Christmas he assigned my husband to 1) find out what documents the company needed to be included in each students leave forms, 2) inform the rest of the students, 3) have all the students email my husband so he could then review and correct any errors, and finally 4) consolidate everything into one neat package to email to the advisor. He said he didn't have the time to do all of that and he hates getting lots of emails. He shirks other responsibilities to students that include tasks such as issuing training certificates, gathering student photos, assignment preference requests…etc. etc. etc.
• He had a student draft a a memorandum to justify the necessity of a study room for PA students. 
• He tasks the students to plan, coordinate, and PAY for graduation. (The students essentially buy lunch for officers as high as Brigadier General.)

There are more examples that I know I am forgetting right now. Just writing this makes me sick to my stomach. No soldier deserves a leader like this. I can barely write the word leader when talking about this person. He is not a leader. He is a selfish, vain, disgusting excuse for a person in charge of IPAP students here at Tripler Army Medical Center.

Contact Phase II IPAP

Toxic Leadership

I would like to make the public aware that my husband is being forced out of the Interservice Physicians Assistant Program (IPAP), a military course accredited by University of Nebraska Medical Center (UNMC). Yes, I said forced out. He has academically achieved ALL of the standards set forth, as well as excelled as a clinician during his training at Tripler Army Medical Center (TAMC) here in Hawaii. 

Does this make sense to ANYONE? My husband has been erroneously recommended for relief from the program based on fabricated claims from the TAMC chain of command. 

Based on recent events, both TAMC and IPAP have demonstrated they are infested with toxic leadership and incompetent officers. There has been no reason set forth by the program (based at Ft. Sam Houston, TX) to justify his dismissal. This seems to be a pattern of wasting tax dollars of the American people for no apparent reason.

My husband's dismissal will bring the tally up to $1 million that has been wasted by our military at TAMC in the IPAP. I believe that all people everywhere have the right to know that TAMC is (yet again) involved in the wasting of our tax payer dollars. This is not only a problem affecting Hawaii, it is a problem for the entire United States.

The military spends altogether about $300,000 per student to go through IPAP. There have been 2 IPAP students relieved from “Phase II” (the clinical portion of this medical program) at TAMC in the past 8 months, both of which were months away from graduating the intense 29 month program. My husband is next on the “chopping block”.  My husband, a Green Beret and decorated Iraq war veteran with nearly 17 years of impeccable military service, is one of the students being neglected and prejudiced against.

Students of IPAP, who train at TAMC for "Phase II", are assigned to incompetent leaders who fail to provide proper guidance and support to them. Not only are soldiers unsupported, they are subjected to ‘fear-based’ leadership, an environment where a voice is condemned and complacency is reality. This problem includes the hospital chain of command and the IPAP advisors (who are intended to mentor students about military PA service).

A civilian DOD employee at TAMC, who shall remain nameless for now, is one of the IPAP advisors. This individual hasn't any Active Duty experience, did not go through IPAP, and is the only civilian advisor within the clinical sites for IPAP. (TAMC is also rumored to have the highest fail rate for a phase II clinical site. Coincidence?) How can this "advisor" effectively lead our soldiers and mentor them when he himself has never done the job they are training for? This is a disservice not only to these soldiers wanting to serve as clinicians for other Active duty soldiers, but for all Americans as well. 

My husbands impeccable career and our family’s livelihood are in jeopardy because of certain prejudices brought against him by the TAMC chain of command. He has been severely reprimanded and has caused the course directors (at Ft. Sam Houston, TX) to recommend he be relieved from the program. He has not only academically achieved the program requirements he has been praised by the hospital’s staff for his ability to connect with patients as a clinician, provide high level of care and learn quickly. 

Why is TAMC and IPAP allowing such a valuable asset to be lost and money to be wasted? It is simply irresponsible and America deserves better.