Closure

I may  have been putting off this final post because I was afraid to revisit this ordeal. I may have been too busy, or I may have been surrounded by friends and family who helped us not dwell and obsess over what we went though. Maybe my brain, heart and soul needed a break. Regardless, it has been 1 year 5 months and 2 weeks since the last post. I had been asked by several readers what was the outcome of all of this. I apologize for it taking so long, but here it is...

Once we received word on getting to come back home to the mainland, we felt as if a weight had been lifted. We were so excited and relieved to come back to a place we could feel safe. We went through so much in Hawaii. (That which left scars both mentally and physically.) We made it home to the mainland November 15, 2014. There was an instant sigh of relief once the plane landed.

We stayed busy looking for a house, and waiting on household goods the first few weeks. Just before Christmas a snag arose, where my husband was told he was up for a review that could potentially have him discharged from the military without benefits or any retirement options. We were terrified once again! We weren't even officially signed into the new Unit! A few phone calls later and the review was able to be pushed back to the next quarter. Enough time to be under the new command and get all his ducks in a row. He was able to find out what, when and why of the review, and what options he would or would not have.

Our optimism from returning home wavered. It once again was like a roller coaster of emotions. At least this time the highs and lows were spaced farther apart. At least this time we were closer to friends and family.

Once the review board date came and handed down the decision, it was another weight lifted. The decision was forced retirement at 20 years. Meaning, even if my husband wanted to do more than 20 years, he could not. He still retires with his benefits/pay. This was good news. I know some people wouldn't say it is, but for us it was wonderful. There was no more guessing of what was going to happen. No more wondering how long will we be in the military. It was decided for us.

With that, my husband found peace and a path to focus on. He is finishing a Master's degree while we wait for the retirement date to arrive. October 31st, 2017 will be his retirement date. The days of resentment and depression are waning. We have more days that are full of happiness than sadness. I do believe time heals all wounds. The further we get from "Hawaii" the more it feels like a bad dream.

The aftermath we deal with now, is staying healthy and on top of his post surgical issues. A lot happens when a large chunk of your colon is removed. It's a process, but we are getting through it.

Looking back, it feels like a lifetime ago. It hasn't even been 2 years. We survived it best we could. The most important thing now is enjoying what we have. We are fortunate. We are better than we were before this ordeal. That is what counts.

Thank you to everyone who shared this blog, or reached out to us and shared your similar experience. It was comforting to know we weren't the only ones. I hope on some level when people come across this blog it lets them know they are not alone as well.

Suffering 2-gether

I asked my husband last night, "Can we please have one day where we don't talk or think about this stress?" He was more than happy to say yes.

It has been such a wonderful day. I was able to enjoy life with my kids and husband. No talking about the "stress". No debating on "what we should do". No over analyzing this "mess".

It has been WAY too long since I have felt peace of any kind. I honestly had asked him out of selfishness for a break from it all. Little did I know, it was for the benefit of all four of us. My kids were thrilled to play with their daddy like they used to. You could see the sheer joy on their faces and hear it in their laughs. I was motivated to exercise. I saw my husband smiled more today than I have seen in months. It was uplifting and amazing!

A friend of mine has been telling me to let go and let God, (you know who you are). I did that today. I feel like crying right now because of the days I took for granted. The days before we allowed this corrupt command to affect us, as it so heinously has done.

 If this is happening to us, it sure as hell is happening elsewhere. Therefore, I am choosing to make this conscious effort: I will not allow them, our so called "leaders" at Tripler Army Medical Center, to hurt my family any more!

I am taking a stance against those petty awful cowards who tout themselves as military leaders. I will NO LONGER accept their ignorance of what it means to truly serve America and face the enemy. I will NO LONGER allow their negativity to spread any further than it has.

This stops now!

Toxic Leadership

I would like to make the public aware that my husband is being forced out of the Interservice Physicians Assistant Program (IPAP), a military course accredited by University of Nebraska Medical Center (UNMC). Yes, I said forced out. He has academically achieved ALL of the standards set forth, as well as excelled as a clinician during his training at Tripler Army Medical Center (TAMC) here in Hawaii. 

Does this make sense to ANYONE? My husband has been erroneously recommended for relief from the program based on fabricated claims from the TAMC chain of command. 

Based on recent events, both TAMC and IPAP have demonstrated they are infested with toxic leadership and incompetent officers. There has been no reason set forth by the program (based at Ft. Sam Houston, TX) to justify his dismissal. This seems to be a pattern of wasting tax dollars of the American people for no apparent reason.

My husband's dismissal will bring the tally up to $1 million that has been wasted by our military at TAMC in the IPAP. I believe that all people everywhere have the right to know that TAMC is (yet again) involved in the wasting of our tax payer dollars. This is not only a problem affecting Hawaii, it is a problem for the entire United States.

The military spends altogether about $300,000 per student to go through IPAP. There have been 2 IPAP students relieved from “Phase II” (the clinical portion of this medical program) at TAMC in the past 8 months, both of which were months away from graduating the intense 29 month program. My husband is next on the “chopping block”.  My husband, a Green Beret and decorated Iraq war veteran with nearly 17 years of impeccable military service, is one of the students being neglected and prejudiced against.

Students of IPAP, who train at TAMC for "Phase II", are assigned to incompetent leaders who fail to provide proper guidance and support to them. Not only are soldiers unsupported, they are subjected to ‘fear-based’ leadership, an environment where a voice is condemned and complacency is reality. This problem includes the hospital chain of command and the IPAP advisors (who are intended to mentor students about military PA service).

A civilian DOD employee at TAMC, who shall remain nameless for now, is one of the IPAP advisors. This individual hasn't any Active Duty experience, did not go through IPAP, and is the only civilian advisor within the clinical sites for IPAP. (TAMC is also rumored to have the highest fail rate for a phase II clinical site. Coincidence?) How can this "advisor" effectively lead our soldiers and mentor them when he himself has never done the job they are training for? This is a disservice not only to these soldiers wanting to serve as clinicians for other Active duty soldiers, but for all Americans as well. 

My husbands impeccable career and our family’s livelihood are in jeopardy because of certain prejudices brought against him by the TAMC chain of command. He has been severely reprimanded and has caused the course directors (at Ft. Sam Houston, TX) to recommend he be relieved from the program. He has not only academically achieved the program requirements he has been praised by the hospital’s staff for his ability to connect with patients as a clinician, provide high level of care and learn quickly. 

Why is TAMC and IPAP allowing such a valuable asset to be lost and money to be wasted? It is simply irresponsible and America deserves better.