26 Days: Part I

It’s been 26 days since I started this blog. (It feels like a whole lot more!) Time creeps here in Hawaii for us because we are in a standstill. It’s harder some days than others. The frustration comes from not knowing what is happening next. There has been no word on the filing of the GOMOR . No word whether or not my husband will be able to continue the military’s Physician Assistant program. 

Without knowing what is going to happen next, I feel as if I am in limbo. It’s a struggle when you aren’t told what is going to happen to your family or when. If all of “this” wasn’t happening, I would be preparing my family to move to our next duty station come October. Now I don’t know when we are to move, or where. I tell myself, “It will happen when it happens”.

Answers. It’s all I want. I don’t care what the answer is, I just want one! I wait and wait and wait. Patience is running out and I have to find ways to fill it up again. 

I started this blog to be heard and to vent my frustrations. It feels great to get my thoughts out of my head and see the words on the screen. It feels scary to hit the “publish” button every time I post. I always ask myself, “I am doing the right thing? Am I going too far?” 

I stop and think. 

I think about all we have gone through. One time always comes to mind. Two months ago, my husband and I were talking. It was a long conversation about our morals and who were are as a family. We reflected a lot on who we are, who we want to be, who we want our children to be proud of. We realized we allowed too much evil and hate into our lives. That is not who we are or wanted to be. Never had we experienced a situation like this. A situation that made us doubt ourselves as parents, people, and patriots. I am embarrassed to say, that 2 months ago I had gotten to the point where I wanted to give up and run and hide. We let this command and the situation make us believe we should be afraid and not stand up for what is right. That moment was when I decided I would NEVER allow my family or myself to be put in that position again.

I stop again. I breathe. I think. 

Then I remember other people out there in the same boat. I think of the soldiers who were bullied out of their positions and told not to put up a fight. Other soldiers sitting in Army “detention” awaiting their fate because of menial mistakes. Waiting to hear if they will have a military career. They sit. They wait. They worry. They cry. 

I ask myself again, “I am doing the right thing?” 

I say, “YES!” 

I click “publish post”. I click it. I share it. I text message it. I e-mail it. I find other bloggers. I talk to everyone I know. I use my voice! I exercise my First Amendment Right. That is what I do to get through this craziness. 

“What is it like for your husband?”  So glad you asked!

…see 26 Days Part II

Fortunate

I want to talk about the fortunate position we are in during this situation. We are in the position to be able to fight this ridiculous scenario because of my husbands successful career. He is an E-8 (Master Sergeant) in the Army. For those of you in the military you CLEARLY understand how important that is. For those of you who are not, he outranks 97.4%  of the enlisted Army. (An even better perspective: the next and LAST step of the ranking system for Enlisted Soldiers is E-9.) 

We are fortunate because, as it stands,  my husband can continue on and be an E-8 elsewhere. Will our family financially suffer from him not being a PA for the Army? Slightly. Will it put us in the poor house? Absolutely not. We are in a position to fight, fight for what is right and just. Fight for those who cannot and wish they could.

We are not the only family that IPAP has tried to bowl over. 

We are not the only family that has suffered under Tripler command. 

We don’t have as much to lose as some other folks out there who have dedicated their lives and careers to military medicine. Thank god this AMEDDC&S is only one small part of our military career. It is not without stress and turmoil that we go through IPAP and fight the awful leadership at Tripler.

"Anonymous" , if you knew anything about my husband and his career, you would know that the very LARGE section of the GOMOR 2.0 is the investigation from Ft. Sam. An investigation about Fraternization between ALL the IPAP students at a BIRTHDAY PARTY. What were the findings of the investigator the 1st and 2nd time around?? NOTHING. It wasn’t until they succeeded in stretching shades of gray to reach the conclusion they did. That is why the investigation is hundreds of pages long. It resulted in a counseling statement that served as an "appropriate disciplinary action" from the Battalion Commander to those soldiers involved. 

GOMOR 2.0 symbolizes the “Hail Mary” the command is striving for to relieve my husband from PA school and possibly the Army. How does it make sense to punish someone TWICE for the same 'crime'? At this point it is comical because I can’t wait to see what they pull out of their “magical hat-o-tricks” next!! 

I am fortunate to have the freedom to voice my concerns about my husbands career through this blog. That is a large part of what our good military does. Protects our rights to freedom, all of our freedoms. My husband is a leader, a wonderful father and husband. He stands up for what is right and does not compromise his integrity for any reason. He is a man, he is human. He has faults like the rest of us. He has stumbled like everyone of us, but he has stayed true to his morals and Christian beliefs. He should not be condemned for a mistake he made (coupled with a grudge by someone in a leadership position). It is sad that “they” have gone that route and have shown how petty “they” can be. I just hope “they” can change and grow and strive to be better leaders.

I can’t express my gratitude enough to those of you who have read and shared my blog. (If anything, this has been an outlet for my frustrations.) I would like you to keep in mind that my husband, my children and I live through this stress everyday. We do not get a break from it. I understand everyone has problems, and I wouldn’t wish ours on any of you. I am so happy that most of you out there are not feeling what we are. Not going through what we are. But for the few, (although too many in my eyes) who are ‘suffering to serve’, please know there are good people out there who will listen and believe your story. People are kind and will take action against evil. Know they are out there, and they truly exist!

Who is my State Representative?

Who is my Senator?

GOMOR 2.0

“GOMOR” is a General Officer Memorandum of Reprimand. To anyone in the military, you know this is a very “bad word”. This is something no soldier wants on their record.

There are 2 ways to file a GOMOR, on a permanent record or locally. If you are in receipt of a GOMOR you pray it gets filed locally. Permanently filed follows you for ever. 

I didn’t know what one was until recently. I am so intimate with it now that it is no longer a dirty little 5 letter acronym. It’s almost lost its meaning from having been said so much, gomor, gomor, gomor, gomor. 

There doesn’t seem to be rhyme or reason to the issuing of a GOMOR. From my experience as a military wife, all you need is a vindictive command and you may very well receive one! (That’s just my opinion.)  One lawyers opinion, (you can read article here), states the “AR 600-37 , “Unfavorable Information”, requires only an “objective decision by competent authority.” ”  I have read AR 600-37 myself and its just way beyond me. I can’t make heads or tails of it. 

In my last post, “I will NOT go away”, I talk about a “document with an error”. This document was the reason my husband was issued a GOMOR. This GOMOR was filed locally. End of saga, right? Wrong! Turns out a General can rescind a GOMOR. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong! They pulled this GOMOR only to give him a NEW ONE!!!!! What!???? Let me try to explain. 

In the first one he was being reprimanded for the document with an error. Why this wasn’t good enough, I don’t know. So, they got rid of that one and drew up a new one.

The NEW GOMOR (in which I like to call GOMOR 2.0) has more reprimands than the first. It contains 5 points. I am going to paraphrase and give the gist of what each one is.

The reprimand is for the following:

1. an investigation that took place in 2013 (back at Ft. Sam Houston, TX) that resulted in no findings and is a closed matter
2. an email to the company commander about the wearing of his green beret 
3. a counseling statement in May 2014
4. comments on an in-processing worksheet about his strengths and weaknesses 
5. the document with the error on it

So to recap we have a reprimand for something old, something new, something borrowed and something out of the blue. What???? 

I can’t wrap my mind around what is happening. I feel like just when it can’t get any worse, it does. Not only does it get worse, it gets more ridiculous! 

They have confiscated my husbands work computer and pager because of my blog. Yes, this blog you are reading right now. Civilian little ‘ole me has caused a stir amongst the command and IPAP. Why is that? Is it because they know what they are doing is wrong? They are afraid of the truth getting out, because the truth hurts. 

I hope they learn a lesson from all this and truly understand the power their soldiers families have. I have the 1st amendment on my side and I will tell my side of the story. I will not sit idly by while they trash my husbands career. My husband has proudly served his country for almost 17 years and is being blindsided by his own command and advisors!! This is not the example of American leadership I am used to or will stand for! They are bullies and control with fear. Soldiers can’t say anything but civilians can. We as Americans, as responsible people of the world, need to stand up and be a voice for these soldiers that are unfairly backed into a corner through toxic leadership.

I will NOT go away!!!

I believe people should stand up for what is right. I am in the right to defend myself and my family when someone tries to hurt us. I will not go away. I am determined to expose the truth about the lies, complacency, incompetence and ignorance that festers through the so called “leadership” at Tripler. 

There is one person who I want to address more than anyone since she is now aware of this blog. 

“To the woman who knows who she is, 

Aren’t you aware that you are supposed PROTECT your soldiers!?! You are not just dealing with a person in a uniform, you are dealing with his entire family. You destroyed the peace in my household by spreading your ignorance and holding a grudge. Maybe I am being a little harsh. Maybe this is the kind of “Army” you are used to, one that steps on the hearts and minds of those beneath her just to be a little closer to the top. That is NOT how the world works lady! You are supposed to take care of your own and not throw them under the bus. I feel sorry for anyone in your command. I’m sorry they have not the courage nor the gall to stand up to you and challenge your wrongful ways, visions and ideas. 

I have never met you and frankly, I don’t care to. I can only hope and pray to our Lord that you will take the time to see the destruction you have caused. I am certain my family is not the only one left floating in your wake of incompetence. I can only hope that you learn from your mistakes, fix them and make amends. You are responsible for American soldiers and all that encompasses their success. You need to start acting like a leader, and not someones well-groomed puppet. 

Jamie B.”

I’m so frustrated at the fact that the Army is allowing non-sense like this to occur over a document with an error which was submitted by my husband. A document that never should have been given to him in the first place by a civilian who was his healthcare provider and preceptor!!! A lousy piece of paper stating he was injured and could not perform a Physical Fitness Test. A test he has never missed, failed, or just done the BARE minimum. The error was fixed in 15 minutes, yet this “leader” pushed through for my husband to be formally reprimanded by the General. Her excuse? “Something had to be done.”  All command involved should be ASHAMED of themselves. I am embarrassed to be a part of this kind of Army. My husband is more than embarrassed, he is heartbroken! All he intended to do was to serve his country and take care of soldiers. They have scarred not only him, but the rest of us that know about these heinous acts. I will doubt them always. This command has proven to be the worst group of people I have ever met in my life!!

Suffering 2-gether

I asked my husband last night, "Can we please have one day where we don't talk or think about this stress?" He was more than happy to say yes.

It has been such a wonderful day. I was able to enjoy life with my kids and husband. No talking about the "stress". No debating on "what we should do". No over analyzing this "mess".

It has been WAY too long since I have felt peace of any kind. I honestly had asked him out of selfishness for a break from it all. Little did I know, it was for the benefit of all four of us. My kids were thrilled to play with their daddy like they used to. You could see the sheer joy on their faces and hear it in their laughs. I was motivated to exercise. I saw my husband smiled more today than I have seen in months. It was uplifting and amazing!

A friend of mine has been telling me to let go and let God, (you know who you are). I did that today. I feel like crying right now because of the days I took for granted. The days before we allowed this corrupt command to affect us, as it so heinously has done.

 If this is happening to us, it sure as hell is happening elsewhere. Therefore, I am choosing to make this conscious effort: I will not allow them, our so called "leaders" at Tripler Army Medical Center, to hurt my family any more!

I am taking a stance against those petty awful cowards who tout themselves as military leaders. I will NO LONGER accept their ignorance of what it means to truly serve America and face the enemy. I will NO LONGER allow their negativity to spread any further than it has.

This stops now!