Our Journey Continues

This has been an emotionally hard journey for us. When I started this blog, it was to vent and hopefully get the word out about toxic leadership at Tripler. I had no idea it would have turned into such a daunting battle. I am so fortunate to have supportive family and friends.  Especially my mother-in-law who is just as enraged as I am about this situation. (A Mother's Letter to the General)

My husband, who has served in the Marines and then the Army, will have 17 years of active duty service come October 2014. He has dedicated his life to serving his country. He had a plan to progress from Special Forces Army Medic to a Physician Assistant (PA). This was the most logical step, being that he loved medicine, and he loved caring for his soldiers. He had hoped to go back to SF someday as a PA, before planning on retiring. He also thought being a PA as a civilian, once retired from the military, would be a great way to support our family. 

*He loved, he hoped, he planned. 

This journey has brought pain, confusion, doubt, tears, rage, disappointment and awareness to my husband and myself. My husband and I learned that not all sections of the military are created equal. Where you find reasonable people in one place, you may not in another. Had we known the personality conflicts would be this great we never would have decided to go the “PA route”. We would have understood that AMEDD is a place not suited for some personalities. A person who is a leader, strong willed, not afraid to stand up for what is right, not afraid to face the enemy, (someone with a dominating personality perhaps?), will most likely not survive this area of the Army.

Life is about learning from mistakes. Life is also about standing up for what is right. 

My husband made a mistake. His punishment DOES NOT fit the “crime”. A permanent GOMOR is way beyond the level of punishment my husband deserved. Yet, a General saw fit to issue one. A General who refused to meet with my husband before he made his final decision. A General who sided with a Captain holding a grudge against my husband. What this General did was wrong and the way he went about it was deplorable!

I was informed by an ExO of the AMEDD command in Ft. Sam that the IPAP directors were planning to relieve him of PA school if the GOMOR was filed permanently. (It is of their own decision and there is NO regulation stating they HAD to relieve him.) For me to get that information, I had to call this man’s office freaking out and crying like a crazy Army wife! Yes, I did. I broke. I NEEDED answers. I got them finally. 

On Sept. 11, 2014 my husband was officially told he was relieved from IPAP. He was given 3 days to appeal. We decided together not to appeal and email the school stating this. Why not appeal? Well, two reasons:

1. We know from experience their minds were made up on the decision to relieve him because of the permanent GOMOR. Appealing would only keep us under AMEDD and Tripler Command that much longer.
2. *The love, the hope, the plans have been burnt into a pile of ash now blowing in the wind. There is NO passion for medicine left within my husband. He has realized this was not the path he was meant for. 

What happens next?

We are waiting for the school to finalize his relief from the program. After which he will get orders back to SF. This is the happy part of a 2 year journey laced with toxic leadership and failed dreams. At least we can go back to a place we love, a work environment he loves and a support system that goes beyond our blood relatives. We will be with family again. He will be with brothers again. We will be home.

The fight is not over, however. There is the matter of that pesky little letter called a GOMOR. I, along with friends and family, will be on the campaign to have it rescinded. This GOMOR was, has and will always be a prime example of the toxic leadership at Tripler Army Medical Center, under that General.