Stress: What doesn't kill you makes you...get surgery?

It’s been quite awhile since the last post. Something happened that took us all by surprise. I guess the stress finally took its toll and got the best of my husbands health. He was admitted to the hospital because of a worsening case of diverticulitis that resulted in major abdominal surgery. The surgery was a success and he is finally home to finish healing.

Three weeks ago I felt like the hits just kept on coming. It was like I was in a boxing match and for every punch I threw, I got a “one-two” combo right back at me. My husband spent 13 days in the hospital. Half of which was post-op recovery. Every afternoon after my son was dismissed from school, we drove over to Tripler hospital. We visited nearly everyday. The kids asked everyday when daddy was coming home, and all I could say was, “I hope soon.” 

I was at the hospital the day of the surgery. A good friend of mine watched my children the whole day. The IPAP students we are friends with were there. They kept me updated, brought me lunch (even though I couldn’t stomach much), and gave me support while I waited. I am so grateful for their kindness, prayers, and assistance. The surgical team was wonderful and I couldn’t have asked for a better set of hands in the OR. (My husband’s last rotation before being put on “clinical hold” was surgery. The surgeon assigned to his case was one he admired and learned from during his rotation. It was a comfort to me knowing he trusted his doctor fully.) The nursing staff that took care of my husband was also incredible. I’m thankful to all of them for the jobs they do everyday. 

I had family and friends from the mainland asking if I needed anything and they would do their best to help in any way they could. Our friends here also offered their help and support. It wasn’t until after my husband was home that I realized I had heard not one word from his command, (I’m guessing it would be his Company Commander or First Sgt.). I never received a phone call asking if my family needed anything, or if we were doing ok, nothing. I suppose I’m not surprised. For all I know they were forbidden to speak with my husband or me because of the Congressional Investigation. Even if that was the case it doesn’t stop me from believing how awful they truly are. It only proves to me they are concerned about themselves. They couldn't care less about the soldiers they “lead”; to include their soldiers’ families. Investigation or not, if they cared at all about doing the right thing, they would have found someone to check in on the welfare of myself and my family while he was hospitalized for 13 days! 

My mother-in-law has been a rock for us during this ordeal. I asked if she would write her thoughts/feelings so that I may post it on this blog. Here is what she had to say:

     "As I think about the events of the past months and how much they have impacted my son and his family, the phrase that sums it up is “morally reprehensible”. The AMEDDC&S command and the chain of command, from the Brigadier General on down has in essence thrown away my son. He came to Tripler with the desire to become a Physician's Assistant and within 9 weeks of graduation from the program, it was taken from him. I believe than in an effort to break his spirit they used a tactic I would consider psychological warfare. From the 2^nd of July through the 19^th of September, he was isolated in the hospital library, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Unable to continue his clinical rotation, not in contact with the other students (many afraid for their own futures distanced themselves from him), little or no information from the school as to whether or not he would be allowed to continue. No one inquired as to his well being, state of mind, or his health; specifically his diverticulitis which began to flare up under this extreme intense stress. The school, which has medical personnel, is well aware of the toll  stress can take on a body, never checked to see if he was okay. Well, in fact he was not okay! On Sept. 21^st he was admitted to the hospital for the diverticulitis that was so serious that on Friday Sept. 26^th he required major abdominal surgery. I hold, in part,  this command, the school, and in particular his former commanding officer who started this petty and vindictive action, responsible for this medical exacerbation of his diverticulitis. My daughter-in-law had told me that no one from the school or command ever made an attempt to see how she was doing, if she needed anything while my son was hospitalized, nor did they ever contact my son. Again, this is an indication of the lack of concern for someone in their command. 
As a result, there is an official inquiry into the actions of this command and the school. I wanted revenge initially, I wanted a severe and humiliating punishment to be visited upon these people for what they have done.  I was absolutely sure that I would never be able to forgive them. But I do not want to become that type of person. I want justice for my son and I want this inquiry to shine a light on a poisonous and uncaring command so that others will not have to experience the ordeal my son has. 
This situation has exposed the shameful and disgraceful behavior of those who are supposed to be the leaders. The young men and women under this type of command will not be encouraged to excel or be given positive examples to emulate. My son told me that a real leader is someone who is more concerned with those under his command rather than those above. The responsibility of a true leader is to provide encouragement, support, listen, demonstrate how to correct a mistake, help to foster loyalty, and be the example of the high standards he expects from them. 
This ignoble action has disgraced the Army and shamed those responsible. Our military has now suffered the proverbial “black eye”. When a soldier is asked to give his heart and his life for his country, he should expect to be supported by those commanding him. There is a strong sense that the Army has betrayed my son and I have to wonder how many others have also been betrayed. When I watch the commercials for the Army, I no longer feel a sense of pride, but rather dismay and sadness that there will soldiers that fight for truth but it will not be accorded to them; fight for fairness, but it will be denied to them.
I will continue to contact the media in an effort to make this public. Sometimes, it takes national exposure and embarrassment to effect a change.
I am proud of my son and  his family, particularly his wife, my “4th” daughter for the way they have conducted themselves throughout this ordeal. This speaks highly of their character,.The families of this command are not able to say the same and I doubt that the mothers of this Captain (who instigated this), this Brigadier General (who obviously signed off on a career tarnishing document without examining the so called evidence  and who violated the Open Door Policy),  and the other commanders at the school would be able to say that they are proud of their conduct."

I couldn’t agree more. 

Thankfully, we received word on a report date back to the mainland. Thank God!  We will be leaving this place soon and be with like minded people once again. It will be a breath of fresh air and we can finally let go of the demons that have haunted us here at Tripler Army Medical Center and AMEDDC&S.